Stinkhorns

When I was just a little kid (I think we were living in Columbia, MO, at this time), my dad took my brother and me out into the woods to look for mushrooms. It must've been autumn, because there were lots of dead brown leaves on the ground. In some of those leaves, I found a single morel mushroom, which we picked and brought home and sauteed in butter. This outing left a pretty big impression on me, because I remember it to this day, and I still very much enjoy mushroom hunting and mycology in general.

Today while I was mowing the lawn (in Wildwood, MO) I found a few very interesting mushrooms in the backyard. These mushrooms are called stinkhorns. They're members of the Phallaceae, for reasons which should be obvious from this photo. In particular, these are Phallus impudicus, the common stinkhorn.

David Arora, in his excellent book "Mushrooms Demystified," says that the stinkhorns' most outlandish feature is the unpleasant odor of the mature spore slime, aptly described as "indiscreet." As proof of this I need offer no further evidence than to point out the green bottle fly perched atop the center specimen, apparently enjoying himself. Stinkhorns are malodorous (and, frankly, kind of funny) but not overtly poisonous, and can be hunted by their scent alone.

I'm not going to eat these, despite the fact that they aren't poisonous. The fruiting bodies evidently grow from "eggs" which one Cpt. Charles McIlvaine said "demand to be eaten." I'm kind of thinking, um, not so much. But aren't mushrooms fun?